| running away with me |
[Mar. 2nd, 2009|12:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sadly- Usher | ] |
I think i've just hit a realization. I have become what I've always tried to avoid. I've been so caught up in life. I let life take me away. I feel like I just go go go. I don't stop and think anymore. I don't sit in coffee shops and write for hours. I don't sit down with myself and ponder over anything and everything. After a year living in an old run-down apartment, I've moved back in with my parents. This has giving me the chance to realize everything I had and everything I missed. I'm greatful for this opportunity because I never stopped to think about where I was going in life. I just went with the moment. Whatever and whereever life carried me, I went. I never thought about the future or anything else. Not that this isn't at all me because I do like being spontanious. Being with Chris, he's always telling me not to think so much like i do. He says I worry too much about the future and need to think about right now, right here. I guess that's both good and bad but maybe he has kept me from my past, what I loved to do so much which is to think. I miss sitting in the coffee shops with Becca and ponder over what could've been or what will be. How our choices impact us later. I guess love does blind us. I have set up a nice cozy spot in the office of my parents place. My computer is all hooked up and yes I even get internet. I'm staying up late for the first time in 2 years and I didn't realize how much I missed this. I miss sitting in my dorm in the middle of the night, surfing the net, playing spider solitair, and writing in-depth e-journal entries until the sun comes up. Yeah I'm tired as heck but this is one past time I really miss but never realized. I wish Becca was closer because I think I wouldn't have fallen away from all of this as easily. I know this is probably wishful thinking but I really hope that I don't let time run away with me. I really need to hold onto these times but my worst fear may overtake me... I fear I'm forgetting already. I never listned to my parents but like they said we would come to realize that they are right.. time goes by too fast and we will miss what there was. The innocent and naive person there once was is now destroyed and molded and I'm very curious but regret much. There's only going forward from here ... baby steps are the only way to go.... |
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| crazy year |
[Jul. 29th, 2007|06:27 pm] |
It's just one of those years where things happen and go by and everything feels like a big blur. I've lost two grandparents, my brother fell in love and got dumped hard, chris' brother ended up in the hospital, and now i'm engaged. I'm kinda thinking 'whoa where'd that come from.' Mixed in with all the bad I'm glad i have some good news. I feel bad though because i completely ruined the surprise for him though but he made up for it. He took me to our spot down by the water and told me how much he loves me and can't live without me. The ring is beautiful 6 small diamonds with one big diamond in the middle on a silver band. Things are already starting to move though. I can't wait to see it all come together. I never was one of those girls to obsess over my wedding when i was 8 so i don't have a clue what to have. Speaking of i better get back to planning. Talk to you later.
heart ya |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2007|05:44 pm] |
My grandpa died about 3 weeks ago, that would make two grandparents lost in less than 6 months. Grandpa's death was a bit sudden, the family didn't expect it even though we were all aware he had cancer. At least I figured we had the summer to enjoy together so we weren't quite ready to let go, but then again who is. The family is doing better and we are all helping out grandma during the difficult time.
Chris lost his wallet just last weekend. That was a big dissapointment but had come to terms with it being lost for good. Turns out someone did find it so they called chris and we get the wallet tomorrow when he comes up from manistee. I'm really glad there are still some honest people out there. We were both very relieved and will definitely be careful.
I'm at my mom's right now, we're just waiting for her and dad to get home so we can enjoy a fire in the backyard. It should be relaxing, hopefully the rain holds out.
Don't think there's anything else going on right now. Hope to talk to you soon. |
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| moved out |
[Apr. 29th, 2007|11:00 am] |
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I rarely ever make it online, especially lately, so I figured i'd take this moment to say that chris and I found an apartment. we moved out of my parents house two weekends ago. it happened so fast but i'm very happy we did. Our place is great. small enough and affordable. two bedroom, one bath, one utility bill. so if anyone is in tc give me a call and stop over. it's off hammond road, just down the road from my g-ma's. everyone's always welcome. hope to catch up soon. |
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| Wow, 8 months |
[Apr. 11th, 2007|07:50 pm] |
so I logged onto livejournal considering deleting it. Then I hesitated, i don't know why. I'm not even sure if people read this anymore, the very few people that i know. Anyway so I'm going to update and if anyone out there still cares then comment and i will keep it up, and if i don't get any responses I will delete myself and you will never have to hear from me ever again.
My job is going very well with occasional issues with employees every once in a while but i love the babies. Chris and I are still living with mom but are looking for an apartment at a decent price. I spoke with my former best friend from high school, amy and we actually had a nice chat. I had ran into her parents while i was giving the little ones a buggy ride and they gave me her cell number so i decided to call her up and i'm glad i did. I miss knowing everyone, and seeing everyone. I miss the fun times i had in high school as well as college. Although there have been some memories I'd rather push aside, there were many good times.
I guess that's really all i have to say for now other than i'm sick of the snow, it's depressing.
LIke i said comment if you still read or else good bye forever. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2006|05:14 pm] |
guess it's been like a month since my last update. for those of you who are wondering if chris and i are still together, you bet- moving him in didn't change much of anything.
I finally got a job and now chris and i are both out of taco bell. I work at the child care center in the Munson Hospital and he works at Stanley Steemer. I like my job just because I get to work with infants. My title is Lead Teacher and I guess I can pretty much do what i want with the rooms. I gotta get use to having that much authority. It's still a little awekward for me just because i'm not yet aquainted with everything and i'm still getting the hang of the system and the fact with working with infants which i haven't got too much experience with yet. i really need to get use to the smell of babies; spit up, poo, baby food, etc. i think i'm getting the hang of it.
so far chris says he likes his job but he's only been there for a day. i don't think it should be that bad or as demanding as taco bell.
it's just nice to have a set schedule for once. i can't believe it's august already. craziness.
well if anyone has any suggestions for me on this whole teacher-y thing i appreciate in input... dave wissner in particular :) if you're reading this.
have a great semester all and good luck |
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| summer |
[Jul. 1st, 2006|02:35 pm] |
mostly all i've been doing is eating, sleeping, and working. I try to make it outside but haven't really had the chance. I really want to go canoeing but haven't had a weeekend off to spend with anyone else who shares the same desire.
We just finished putting together the room downstairs which worked out because chris' mom was threatning to charge him more rent. i decided to move him out that same night. so we started as soon as i got off work (2am) and finished moving his stuff at 6 am. of course it poured almost the whole time and she was pretty hurt when she found out.
I have realy enjoyed living with him though and my parents are being very cool about the whole situation, especially since we had to move in sugar, our cat. we're all getting along.
i've sent in a couple resumes, but mostly i'm just going with the flow. i'm not in too much of a hurry, i mean i have the rest of my life ahead of me. I just want to sit down and think for now. apparently my gramma met the head of the state early childhood program and she gave her my number so i guess i'm expecting a call- go grammas. chris on the other hand is ready to get out of taco bell and is on the verge. he sent in his resume to a computer warehouse, they called him in and he's waiting for a call back in two weeks. wish him luck.
my truck ended up in the shop 1 month after i got it, and didn't get it back for another two weeks. it was hectic, but i mostly used chris' car.
as far as night time at taco bell, i've had a closer quit on my shift, another one try to outrun the cops, and a couple no shows. we're off to a great start.
ok well that's all for now.
ttyl
love ya |
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| Craziness |
[May. 16th, 2006|12:45 pm] |
There's been quite a few mixed feelings since I've finished CMU.
Grades came in and I did not fail any of my classes, in fact I didn't even get any D's! :) so yay I have a degree now.
Things have been changing at taco bell, let's just say my dad no longer works at front st. with me. The bad guys pushed him out. Since the company had bought his car with the switch over they have to take it away now so we all talked about it and I went out and bought a used truck and he gets my old ford. I found a White 1999 Toyota Tacoma, 4WD, manual, single cab, with a storage case and bed liner. It's the cutest thing in the whole wide world and I love it. This just means money is going to be tight until i can find a job that pays better than taco bell. I could barely afford to pay rent if I happened to get an apartment within the next 4 years with my student loans i'm paying on. I'm learning quickly how much the real life sucks. I can't believe the gas prices these days but hopefully that won't be a problem because I think my truck gets decent milage. The next step is finding a job, and i'm most likely going to look into Munson Medical or a Pediatrics office. Well I should go downstairs and straighten my room. Have a great summer y'all! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 19th, 2006|03:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the washer | ] |
My truck fell apart yesturday. The muffler pipe rusted off, but apparently it is bolted to a chain which is fastened securely to the frame so there's no way I can lose it. My dad came down today and he fixed it pretty quickly and we went to lunch. Apparently my back wheels seem to be loose. Dad says there's nothing he can do cuz the bolts are tight so I should be able to drive on them alright without them falling off. He's talking about looking into a new truck for me this summer, so i'm excited about that.
I can't beleive that in a little over 2 weeks I will be graduated and on with my life. It seems too hard to believe. I look back and think about all that i've been through which has been a lot. I'm thankful for everyone I've met. I know these years haven't been the easiest and I appologize sincerely for any harm that I have done. I am going to miss all of my friends, most I may never see again. But please stay in contact. For the rest of you... Good Luck and God Bless. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 6th, 2006|11:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Lovers & Liars - Matchbook Romance | ] |
So my brother's in New York right now. He arrived yesturday and I'm a bit jealous. However, it feels like it has been forever since I've been there. So I've had my chance, I just wish I could go back. Although, I love this weather. I'm thinking about walking to class and getting a smoothie after my rediculously hard exam. We're testing over 3 chapter and one Review section. One chapter and the Review we have been tested on in the previous exam. I'm not really understanding any of what she does. I think I'm finally back on track with my physics class. I got a 97% on my 2nd exam, it was a take home, but still that gave me a really good chance of boosting up my grade. Not to mention the final is take home as well and I will literally take it home cuz I'm going home the week we get it. This means I can get some help from my bro. I'm just really excited that we have about 20 weekdays left until graduation. I'm getting really anxious. I want to take home some of my stuff in my room but I'm not going home until easter but that's next weekend so I can wait. Plus Chris says he'll take home some when he comes down Monday night. I was really dissapointed when I received Dr. Bachellor's email reguarding the spring game on sat. and I work 9-5. I really wanted to play again... Guess I'll just have to whip out my trumpet and annoy some neighbors this weekend. :) I'm kind of excited about working saturday because the Rec. department is putting on their annual easter egg scramble. I love watching cute little kids dive for eggs full of jelly beans and M&M's just hoping to get that big prize. I better go eat lunch and study a little. Have a safe weekend. |
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